Jun 01 2025 How do your kids see you?
This month we celebrate Father’s Day… and whether you are a dad or not, this is a great time to reflect on your relationships. If your children are old enough, ask for their input. “How am I doing as your dad? What would you like from me in this season of your life? If you could change anything about our relationship, what would it be?” This may be a tough conversation, but I encourage you to be humble and willing to listen, without defense, and then (as needed) be prepared to make changes.
How to Ask for Feedback
Step 1: Listen to Their Feelings
Step 2: Confess Your Faults
Step 3: Ask for Forgiveness
Step 4: Commit to the Relationship Going Forward
No one is perfect. Everyone has been guilty of hurting others. Acknowledge your faults and failures. Be specific, where possible. This requires courage. Be brave enough to offer this vulnerability, not only out of compassion, but to model for your children the response you hope to receive. And remember, when hurt is present, healing will take time. You may need to do this with the help of a counselor, a wise friend, or your community group.
Points for Reflection
An effective father works hard to have the right attitude in life–your attitude is more important than action because attitudes determine actions.
An effective father communicates his love. You do this through giving your children quality time (undivided attention), showing interest, and listening. Every child needs to hear that you, as their father, love them.
An effective father affirms his children in every way. Verbal compliments, or words of appreciation, are powerful communicators of love. Call out the good character traits you see in your kids!
An effective father understands the vital importance of being dependent upon The Lord. The secret to Godly, responsible children is a Godly, responsible dad! Seek the Lord with all your heart, mind, soul and strength (Matt. 22:37-38).
Happy Father’s Day! I’m so proud of you!
John